Cannes Film Festival 2013

If you are a filmmaker, actor, or want to be a part of that industry, go to this festival. I know it's expensive. Go anyway. You will never find a more golden opportunity to meet, network and learn the ropes.

This year was my first time. I honestly cannot believe I have never been before. Yes, it's expensive. Yes, there are people there so rich and famous you can't even dream of it. But you will be there, amongst it.

Saturday

20.30 pm - We arrive in the rain. Pouring, dashing, clashing, spattering rain. The plane bounces down through the clouds like a rickety 1925- model, the french schoolkids on board helpfully screaming with each bounce.
The pilot brings us safely down though, and rather amusedly says "Enjoy the riviera and the sun."

2100 -Not even on the bus, we run into some other UK filmmakers, one of which the Englishman knows from before. They have a bagfull of DVD's and booze. I'm starting to get the idea.

21.50- we arrive in Juan Les Pins, which I last saw age 14 with my parents. We desperately try to find some food, but the riviera acting like a prissy maid in the rain, and everyone has gone home early. We find one restaurant that takes pity, and serve us some salad and warming carbonara with un carafe du vin rouge Provencal. The waiter laughs when we ask for a taxi - our hotel is around the corner.

2300- The girl at the hotel is swedish. The hotel is small, but it has a pool, a back garden and the room has a fridge and a better bed than our greek 5 star hotel. Night!

Sunday -
I get my dream fulfilled of continental breakfast. A little brasserie serves us orange juice, pain chocolat, baguette and jam, and omelette with Brie for the Englishman. And then we notice we are sitting next to Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting writer.) The Cannes festival places you in the midst of a Hollywood party.

1200 - The train to Cannes is very delayed. Instead we sit in the sun and listen to a swedish filmmaker I can't make out who is, but since he is moving big meetings around I'm assuming he's important. He has his wife with him, the first of many husband/wife producer/director teams we see. I like.

1300 - The train takes five minutes. We easily locate the Croisette, and the Palais du Festival. You know, that place with the red carpet stairs you see on TV. I grin from ear to ear. The streets are filled with people of all ages trying to snap a picture of a favourite celeb. We find the late accreditation offices, where you have to go if you might have messed up getting your accreditation in time. We get day passes, and proceed through the pavillions. Each country has a pavillion, sort of a display of that country's filmmaking chops. Some are huge, some are small. The bigger ones are visited by agents, casting directors and experienced filmmakers who do talks about subjects you want to know more about. We went to one regarding attaching finance and a star to your movie, where the speakers were Cassian Elwes, Derek Power and three incredible american and French female agents.

1500- Hunger. We find lunch. It's ridiculously expensive, as is everything here. Every restaurant proprieteur, bar and establishment has racked it up for these 10 days.

1800- We meet a friend from a reputable PR company. She is here with The Hunger Games and a few other films. She has worked about 9 people's jobs non stop for 3 days and has about 30 minutes before she is whisked away from the bar, where Clive Owen is also sat. With her PR outfit and my skimpy dress it looks like she is bringing me down the croisette to a red carpet event. If only...
The skimpy dress is cold, by the way. The weather has improved, but not much.

2100- At the Carlton Hotel. Why we chose the two most ludicrous hotels is a mystery perhaps. The kind of place you buy some diamonds in between enjoying your 30$ cocktails.

2105- The water costs 8 Euro. I don't know what to say to that.

2115- Oh look, Eva Longoria. Surrounded by an entourage of 6.

2300 - We are invited to the Fox party but are knackered to bits and decide to leg it home. Not sure about that one in hindsight. But as I explain to the Englishman - it's easy for blokes - jeans, a nice shirt and blazer, ready to go. Girls have to freeze in skimpy dresses and have our hair blown to bits by the wind, suffering in towering heels we can't really walk in at the same time as carrying a huge tote bag full of a change of clothes, flat shoes, makeup, wipes, hairbrush, pins, cards...we find a late night pizza place. I have had more carbs in 2 days than in the last 2 years. We tumble into bed with aching feet and sleep instantly.

Monday

I want to live here. Not here maybe, but Nice - a big city, only better wine, food, language and weather. Hilariously the French and English seem to be locked in this permanent arrogant battle of not learning each other's languages, and ancient battle the Englishman might have had to swallow if moving here.

0900- Fresh and ready, after more croissants and baguettes at the hotel, we turn up fit for fighting.

1200 -Marchee du Film. This is the marketplace, where across three floors, all countries try and sell/distribute their films, or people come to meet them to sell their own. Stand after stand decorated with posters. Some are teeming, others have one sleepy attendant who looks like he's been there all night.

1400 - Lunch with Prince Randy from Black Lion Entertainment. We go to a sushi place, where they have run out of sushi. Eh? We move on to another cafe, where the wind is so strong the salad leaves fly off the plates. Which is kind of half my meal, even though it was 14 Euro. You gotta laugh.

1600 - Rounds in the pavillions. Talks. Too many free drinks.

1700- Back to Marchee du film. Meet people who want to see our material. Exchange of cards. I change into evening dress. Squeezing into a sausage skin like dress in a tiny smelly loo cubicle is not the height of glamour, but at least I try to look the part when I come out. My wedge platform shoes are almost walkable.

1800 - Free drinks at Russian Pavillion with some lovely ladies from a Geordie musical film and our casting director Andy Fawn plus a director he's working with.

00:something - In the taxi queue we meet another husband/wife team. A proper old timer who is here to sell his latest film. It's incredible - Cannes and it's neighbouring towns are just exclusively populated by filmmakers. I never want to leave. It's just so much fun to be able to talk about the thing you love 24/7, though I suspect it would become tedious at length.

Ja'ime bien le Red carpet! Though it looks like I'm slightly bored??

Tuesday

11:00 Late start. We both feel battered - is it all the walking? The constant music and talk about yourself? Who knows, but we are keen to make the most of the last day.

1200 - If I have learnt one thing, it's don't buy breakfast, lunch or drinks. All of that you can get if you hang around enough tents.

1300- Found the Norwegian tent! They have waffles!

1400- Had lunch. Met producer. Went to Marchee du Film and have meeting with distributor.

1500- Meeting in the Kenyan pavillion about Stonetown pilot. They love our show. This could be genuinely brilliant. We steal chairs from Nigeria.

1600- Happy hour in Norwegian tent. Networking to high heavens. I meet some awesome guys from Filmcamp, an all-in studio and facilitator up in the north of Norway. We skip between the Norwegian and Finnish pavillion.

1800 - Hmmm. A lotof booze and not much fod. Slghtli drnk now. Mre netwroking. Oh, look, the head of Norwegian film comission. He's nice. I met some agents too. Why do people keep bringing delicious little cake things and more booze? Any sort of diet here is impossible.

2000- A swish by the Polish tent. They have squeezy balls. The South African tent has mini stitched love letters and embroidered hair stuff though, so they win. We go to have dinner. We almost miss the Great Gatsby Fireworks, and realise how close we are to Leo Dicaprio and Harvey Weinstein. So close...

2200- American tent party. Good DJ. We don't have a hotel room tonight. Did I forget to metion that? We don't. We took a later flight and neglected that bit. Wich means we have to party all night.

00:00- Oppa gagnam style!!

0100: The Majestic. Almost sober again now. As well; the booze here is LOLZ expensive. I meet actress Serina Lorien who is totally awesome, and a brilliant filmmaker named Dan. Dan is the most chatty, happy-go-lucky director I have ever met. He is also a business genius and tells us a story of how he rented a cinema for a week to show his trailer for a low budget film he made. He bought a film, which didn't cost much in this small town, showed it for a week and thus was able to choose his own trailer. Oh, and he made 10.000 more on the tickets than he used to make his movie. So he made 10 grand promoting his film. This guy is a genius.

0200- A lot of extremely tall, Russian, extremely made up, extremely pretty ladies arrive. Along with a lot of extremely rich, bald, fat men. Hmm. Some business deal is going down here, and it aint filmmaking.
A buyer who knows Dan rocks up and tells us he just bought 5 films. He's wondering where the Russian ladies are and enquires whether I might be one of them. I am not.

0300- Crepe queue! All of Cannes is here in a tiny square where they have hot dogs and crepes.
In the queue I meet the Norwegian producers I've been looking for for 3 days. I love this place!

0400- Ok, tired now. Tea.


Wednesday

0500 - I suppose it's been wednesday for a while already. We find the train to Juan Les Pins. A gang of rough teens also find it. They are about 8 in the gang, menacing and look like they are spoiling for a fight. We are too tired to worry about being robbed so move to another carriage, where we meet an entertainment lawyer. We've met the lot then - Directors, producers, actors, buyers, distributors, sales agents - and a lawyer.

We shudder back to the hotel in the grey dawn, change clothes, brush our fuzzy teeth, pick up our bags and head out for some sun loungers. It's way to cold though, so instead we sneak down into some sofas on a beach cafeteria and sleep there till about 9. The staff who start arriving eye us suspiciously, but The Englishman confidently flashes his Cannes badge. I prepare for some embarassment, but for some reason it works. They shrug, as if they know full well all the idiots who roll in from Cannes drunk and fall asleep on their beach this time of the year.
The weather has decided to be amazing on the day we leave. We sleep to the sound of lapping seas, I venture out in the water and quickly decide it's pretty brisk. We choose a lunch of paella at a charming, dusty little cafe with nothing but an old man stirring a huge dish of the sticky seafood dish. It's salty, fresh and satisfying. We don't want to leave.

But at least we are prepped for next year. My business card holder is full to bursting. Au revoir, Cannes! A bientot!

Graft, stress and coffee choc chip ice cream.

Any blathering of mine aside- you gotta read this for the most laughably easy ice cream recipe you'll ever read. And it's good. Goooooooood.

It's rather hard to describe the last few weeks and month's ups and downs. I do feel like me and the Englishman endure more disappointments in two days than most people do in a lifetime. But then again, we don't live in a war zone, so maybe not.

It has been ridiculous though, joking aside. We strive from dawn till dusk on next to zero money, busting our arses trying to make 5 different projects happen. The hilarious thing is one day, none are happening and no one anwers, no one wants to hear from you and you get kicked in the teeth wherever you turn; the next, everyone is ringing at once, and everything seems to be coming off at the same time.

To many, our progress seems slow. We haven't become stars overnight. We haven't come from money. What we are doing is a slow entrepreneurial ascent through blood, sweat, tears, and pure grafting and severe testing of patience. It's affecting our relationship. We live and breathe each other as business partners, and the last month I can't remember when we discussed how beautiful we think the other person is, instead of proposed budgets, who calls whom, which actor has said yes, which producer said no, and why did you forget to cc me on that email? And that's not even mentioning the castings. Turning up, looking pretty, giving it your all, forgetting about it. Pray you don't get too involved or disappointed.

But it is all for something. It is all to carve a life that we want. A life which can be glorious. And every time I feel like giving up, I;ve asked myself the hardest, which I started doing this year: How hard have you REALLY worked? How hard have you REALLY tried? I mena, what have you done today to achieve your dream? I cannot begin to tell you how many artists I hear say "Oh, I have this idea for a book/play/film/short..." The writing is 10%. It's the easy bit, the fun bit. Now get it critiqued, ripped apart and spat out, rejected, ignored and twisted to suit an investor.

Other people I've met are woefully arrogant, thinking they can pull everything off alone, at once. Your script is not perfect. If you have accessed money for your film, it may not be perfect. Listen to people that are better than you. Who have done it before. Keep your vision, but respect experience. They have something to say. You ignore it at your peril.

The saddest thing of all is seeing a project that is actually happening, has money, has great crew, great actors -and is clobbered and mismanaged and killed by arrogant, stubborn people. Of course I have never physically seen anything that stupid happen. Ahem.

The Stepfather was visiting this week; great with a little parent time. Even if said parent, poor thing has to wait around for children to run from Tate Modern to Soho to deliver a shareholders agreement to a media bank manager, or wait until the child has spoken to 3 directors and 2 distribution companies. He took it like a champ!

So on the agenda the next couple of weeks:

- Negotiations with Palm D'or winning film director for my feature film.
- Meeting major London production company regarding co- producing TV pilot.
- Meeting one of the country's biggest distributors regarding same
- Meeting Canadian producers about comedy youtube channel
- Start creating our TV pilot with our fabulous collaborator.

WISH  I could give you names yet- it'll come! Have this instead:



ESPRESSO CHOC CHIP ICE CREAM (OR AWESOMENESS ICECREAMIFIED)

This aint one for the non dairy crowd. (Which I usually am a part of). I think it may be possible here to condense coconut milk, and use soy dairy whipping cream. It might also produce awesomeness. Allow freeze time here!!

1 tin of sweetened condensed milk
3 dl of heavy cream
2 1/2 tbsp espresso granules, mashed out with a teaspoon of hot water
50 grams dark chocolate, chopped

Stir coffee paste into condensed milk, in a bowl. Whip cream into stiff peaks.  (Be careful, not too long or it'll become butter.) MIX GENTLY WITH THE CHOCOLATE. FREEZE. EAT. BOOM!

A poem

ACTING

Too short
Too young
Too nice
Too tall

You don't care if I feel small

Faster
Slower
Darker
Bolder

Can't you look a little older?

Not quite
Not right
Not yet
No bite

We're not really looking for someone white

Which look
Which hook
Which lies
Can you cook

We'll definitely have a look

More skillful
More restless
More nasty
More reckless


This scene will work better if you do it topless


All lies
All tries
All woes
All cries

Shouting eloquent goodbyes

Can you do it?
Can you take it?
Can you swallow
This much longer?

Be hooked on hope and bounce back stronger

The price is high
Can you reach
Before you breach
Sanity and drink the bleach

Is it worth it for a silly speech

In your blood
In your veins
Determination
A game

One day
I say
One day
I'll show you

Disappointment for dinner will teach me the way

Then

Take a picture
Swallow nerves
Step outside
Who's the richer?

Don't care, don't swear, just look here, here, here


You made it?
You got it?
You have it?
We love you!


Now take your buyout and shut up.

Embrace change! And bulgur wheat cakes.

A feeling of things coming together. A glimpse of sunshine. 

Even though we hardly have time to glance it it much, me and the Englishman are very happy in our new place.

For us both, it hails moving on from painful old scars. It signals a letting go, and a breath of fresh air (despite living near a busy high street!).

Our little production company, Redeeming Features, is about to announce some unbeliavably exciting things.

All I can say is... stop dreaming and get doing! As i mentioned to a few people; before Christmas I got a bit exasperated with it all. It's always worth reminding yourself; you are doing this voluntarily. We don't live in a warzone. We are not starving. That means you have choices.

The other thing that came to mind was Stanley Tucci's wonderful role in "Devil wears Prada". When Anne Hathaway's character wails "B- but I'm trying SO HARD." Whereupon he replies,
 "Honey, you are not trying. You are whining."

Consider this. Are you? I know I was. Life is short. Are you trying hard enough to make the things you want happen? Have you asked for help?(See Amanda Palmer's recent brilliant TED talk about just that, performers)  Contacted the people you know? How many people do you in fact know? Are you sure no one can help? Maybe you need time to improve- skills, learning. Think. Ask. Learn. DO. We spend far too much time feeling sorry for ourselves.

I'm wonderfully happy, but only after taking the responsibility to be so myself. And not asking it to be perfect. Life ALWAYS throws shit in your path. Your job to step over it, or wipe it off when you stepped in it.

Bulgur Wheat cheese fritters (adapted from prevention rd)

Quinoa Cakes:
2 cups cooked quinoa (used Bulgur wheat. The grains are bigger so use Quinoa if you can.)
2/3 cup fontina cheese, grated (or any other softish, flavoursome cheese. I used a mix of cornish white from Borough Market and regular cheddar.)
3 Tbsp all-purpose flour
2 green onions, thinly sliced

1/2 dl chopped beetroot

1 clove garlic
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/4 tsp salt
Extra vigin oil

Aioli:
½ cup light mayonnaise
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
1/8 tsp salt and pepper, to taste

Boil Bulgur/quinoa to instructions. Mix with other ingredients. Let SIT FOR A BIT or it won't stick together. Fry them lightly in olive oil on each side. Careful when you turn them over. Light, beautiful veggie dinner! :) Serve with aioli. Lovely with white fish. 

The Move

"In these situations, one often finds an Italian who isn't too picky."

I'm a latecomer to Downton, but boy, is it fun. What a way to appeal to everyone, across society, age and gender! (Well, there might be a slight heavier female audience...only because of the dresses!) And surely Maggie Smith's best role to date.

I'm imagining the fan fiction which is surely out there; and how I could implement it.

Lady Gellin gazed mournfully into her morning tea, with the sounds of the motorcars engulfing her senses from the outside street. This townhouse really wan't fit for a relaxing lifestyle. Whilst contemplating whether the studded jeans would do for today - weren't jeans a little unladylike for a casting? - she also wondering when she wold next be able to pester her lover for bedtime activities. Of late there had been so much to do, and they were both quite worn out. She found herself contemplating several, most unladylike, garments she could wear for the later evening meal. Unfortunately, time was not her friend and before she knew it, the call of the ghastly public transport called here away to her duty.

Maybe not?

Well - we have most certainly moved. It was a very long day, and without the help of a lovely, reasonable movers service and The Englishman's parents, I don't know how we would have managed.

I keep being thrilled about the new place though- spacious and in a nice area, with a martial arts gym, a health food shop, M&S and the heath nearby?? Pinch me.

The poor Englishman nearly did his knee in up and down the stairs, and I accumulated a "Pinch" injury (What you get when you squeeze a bit of your arm between the wall and a sharp table corner. Ow.)

There's issues, as always, but this might just be the smoothest move I've done- so far.

Of course, being as we are, we didn't realise until last night we were both utterly exhausted and grumpy - what ever for?

Maybe severe food posioning, two amazing castings (fingerssounbeliveably crossed...), moving AND launching a cake company proved a bit strenuous in 5 days?

http://mattsmarvellouscakes.com

Please share, like, tell your friends... if you'd like to stock the brownies get in touch with me or use the website. We will also shortly deliver abroad. The brownies are DELICIOUS. I've had three this week. This has got to stop. Only allowed post- food poisoning.

Now I really should be tinkering with my script. Just one more Downton. It's been a long week.

Oh- and did anyone see the russian meteor?? Let's all actually eat brownies and be happy. Gee. Powerful stuff.

Kat xx

6 ways of actually getting laid and getting girls to like you - permanently.(for CRACKED.com)

1. Be real - say what you want

The “Game” is tedious. If you’re between 16 and 21, be my guest. You’re bound to break some hearts or get yours broken, but that’s what your teens are for. Learning. Later on, the game is a massive pile of stinking BS. Life will create enough drama as it is - people die, wars happen, you lose your job to a guy you hate, space can hurl giant rocks into your unsuspecting lounge any day of the week. If relationships were a little bit easier to navigate, no one would complain.
So when you meet somebody you really like, just say so. Have a great time, see where it goes.
If you don’t like them, don’t hang out. Duh.
If you are only after fun and some hay-rollin, say so. Yes, some girls will then say “thanks very much and see you later”, but that’s good, isn’t it? Cause then you’re free to find the ones who do just want some fun, and they are out there. Plenty of girls don’t need a relationship right now. If you lie to the girl who does, well, then you are what we girls refer to as a “douchebag”. You end up on our scum list for having caused severe outbreaks of Grey’s Anatomy and Ben&Jerrys. We’ll tell all our hot friends. And Facebook. Just say what you want. (We’ll do the same.)


Jim’s a douchebag? Oh no, I was gonna introduce him to all my mates in the swimming pool.

2.  Text back. Text back. Text back.

There is no fucking three day rule. If you’re not socially troubled, you know very well what seems offhand and like you don’t give a damn, and what’s just creepy and clingy. Don’t you?
Of course, if you are socially troubled, not a problem, ask a mate who isn’t.
The conversation with girls usually goes:
“Has he texted you yet? “
“No, but, you know, he’s so busy with...” 

You went on a date. It went well. You had a laugh. You had things in common. No one dribbled prawn cocktail on their shirt. Now we want a sodding text message to confirm that.
Women need affirmation. We want to hear we’re beautiful and clever, even if we’re a supermodel in charge of three major companies. Maybe especially then.
You might be in dreamland, thinking of all the rude things you’re going to do to us by date 2/3/whatever, but meanwhile we’ll think the whole thing’s gone to shit, because you’ve said jack shit. And we've been waxing. Those 15 seconds of smooth heaven don’t come pain free or cheap, dude.

Just text roughly the day after, saying you had a lovely time and whether you’d like to do it again. Throw some humour in there. It doesn’t take two minutes of your day, just do it when you’re commuting to work, on your lunch break, whichever.
Oh - and don’t be cryptic. Don’t leave us guessing for days and weeks whether you’re “interested” or not. It’s boring for the friends around the girl who rings you up at midnight squeaking “But he said I was “cool”. What does that mean?”

I can’t decipher this shit without a NASA code breaker.


3. Keep talking.

If you don’t want a relationship, but the fun is stretching out, might be worth mentioning again you want to keep it casual. Famously, casual relationships suffer from one person getting too involved. And maybe slightly more common from our side than yours. So just be nice. Ask if she’s ok with keeping things cool still; judge wisely. Is she telling the truth or staying in the hope that sex will lead to more? 



We’re keeping it casual still, right? ...Babe? What’s that you’re printing?

4. Ask. 

You love it when we initiate sex. We love it when you initiate relationship. If you want us to be exclusive, or be your girlfriend, just ask. You can make a joke. It’s okay. It is a little awkward. Much easier when we were seven and you sent a note saying: Should we go out, tick YES, NO, MAYBE.
Just don’t leave it out hanging. Much like your dick in cold wind, we will shrivel up too and slink away. Some girls will take matters firmly in their own hands... but if they won't, you be the bigger man. Ask. If she’s hung around you, taken your time, money and affection and then says no, if you didn’t agree on being casual, she’s a douchebag. Call up Dave and Jim for some women- are- hoes- talk and a beer. Or bench down with some realtime with your Dungeons and Dragons, if that’s how you roll. But remember you took a shot, and you were the good guy. When the hottest, coolest of them all comes, she’ll see that, worry ye not.

Fourth option? Light saturday entertainment for two?

5. Be interested in her opinion. Listen.

If you’re not interested in someone’s opinion, male or female, then why are you hanging around? Unless they are your boss and you have to listen or start digging poverty.
Listening to us is so rare we are actually amazed when we meet a guy who isn’t a tiny bit patronising, takes the piss or just doesn’t listen. If you open your ears and find out what kind of life experience this other person has, you might be surprised. They might have something great to offer you. Also we’ll like you more if you let us talk about ourselves. And we feel more sexy. We can easily throw some dirty talk in there somewhere.
If you’re in a long term relationship, you might be suffering from yes-itis. (A heartbreking condition the male develops after about a year, whereby he learns to judge the tone of voice of when a girl has stopped talking, inserts a “yes” and is still oblivious to anything that’s been said.) Divorces happen over this stuff. Recommendation? Say, “honey, I’m a little tied up. Can this wait?” It probably can’t. Just write it down. It’ll pay off later in the form of naked grateful girlfriend instead of grumpy, tucking- duvet- round - and - sleeping girlfriend.
Though if you actually think she’s an idiot and her opinions suck, either get out, or make it clear you are after a fun one- night - only. Otherwise, guess what: Douchebag! 



Oh Scarlett, I love it when you talk.

6. Book a table on Valentine’s. Insist on paying.

You have a wife. You have kids. You have a job and little time to yourself. That’s why, understandably, Valentines was one of those things you remembered last time she mentioned it, but it kinda went out the window after that.
You’re both busy. She’ll understand, right?
Wrong. You fucked this one up. Not even a card? Or worse; a card emergency - bought from the nearest store or a half- dead looking rose after 4pm on the actual day? You’re not getting laid, buster.

You have a girlfriend. Valentines is expensive and you’re both busy, so surely you can skip it this year right? You did it last year, remember, that nice place, what-was-it-called? Can’t you just stay home, watch a film or something? She even said it was ok, didn’t she?
Wrong. You fucked up. You’re not getting laid.

You’re dating. The girl says she hates Valentines and everything to do with it; it’s overcommercialised, evil corporation - owned BS, and roses are so boring anyway.
You skip it, obviously wanting to avoid trouble from this hot chick you don’t know so well yet. Success?


Surprise! You’re not getting laid!
You should have created a wonderful, sustainable meal at home, that you made (even if you hate cooking - just M&S it), or you take her on a weekend break somewhere anti- romantic and cool, like mountain climbing. Whatever she’s into. (Oh yeah- find out what she’s into.) Or you can go on a date with your wank hand. 


Just you and me then ,Lola.

By the way, this goes for wedding anniversary/her birthday/yearly anniversary too.

New year dryathlon finished!

And actually it wasn't as hard as expected. The first dinner party, eating a hearty chilli with no red wine, was nail- bitingly hard. After that it was a walk in the park...

It seems everyone is tucked up in side in January, anyway. People are broke, cold, tired and reluctant to go out. Most people are trying not to drink/eat/smoke/fill in appropriate sin.

I found the lack of wine lessened my need for sugar overall, and certainly made it easier keeping a slim line. Normally I bust my ass in the gym to keep the figure trim due to my cake-love - but no booze(and no red meat) made that need lower, too. Enough smugness. I'll drink this week as I have a friend coming over. But I'm almost growing to like the dryness. Almost.

For those who follow my progress, you'll see a significant change this season: The blonde has, temporarily, moved aside for the darker locked version. The first week I mostly jumped every time I looked in the mirror. But not as much as I jumped during the process:

Here I am, significantly scared with my outgrown blonde locks pre- colour. Sorry for the unattractive angle. As my chirpy no- nonsense Aussie hairdresser casually threw out: "It's REALLY damaged. Like SO thirsty. It's gonna DRINK up the colour."

As I learned, blonde hair has had all pigment taken out- red and brown both. So number one on the agenda was to put red pigment back in. Cue rebellious 90's teenager look.

Kurt Cobain has nothing on me. Rockin the orange.

And did it indeed "drink up the colour"! I think my bleached poor tresses were thanking me on their knees, weeping with relief and joy. 

And voila...new Kat coming right up! It took me about 2 weeks to get used to it. Now it's the best thing EVER. I do love blonde and always will, but might think twice before going that super light again. Benefits: Silky soft hair without tangles. Hello?! Drawbacks: It needs more dry shampoo and washes. Face needs more makeup. My hair naturally falls down so needs more persuading to get volume, but at least I'm not relying on volume created solely by tangles anymore! 

January has been long, hard, cold and tough. We have managed on very little money and hustled our bums off to make things happen.

The latter aint gonna change, but there are so many exciting prospects for this year. My film is in consideration with some fabulous directors, I just came back from doing a radio play in Oslo, and there are some GREAT things about to happen to our production company... keep Redeeming Features in mind folks!

The 14th marks big changes for us. The Englishman launches his cake brand along with Matt Jones and Olivier Farvel, bakers extraordinaire from Borough Market. And we are moving - wooo! To a flat with more space. And it's Valentine's. Of course, these things are all happening at the same time. Such is life. 

Oh- and we're going to CANNES! The film festival better watch out...

Gonna enjoy a Snickers with "more nuts" now. Genius invention. Lethal to the waistline. M-m.